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Read time: 3 mins
Dealing with the loss of a loved one can be incredibly impactful.
I recently lost my mom unexpectedly.
I’ve found that even amidst the pain, it’s also been a time of reflection and growth.
In this edition, I'd like to share her lessons.
These are the lessons I’ve learned from her; that she’s passed on.
They’ve made my personal and professional life richer and more meaningful, and I hope that maybe her lessons resonate with you, too.
Let's get into it:
4 OF PAULINE'S BEST LESSONS
Lesson 1: Prioritise Meaningful Relationships
Living far away from my mom for 15 years highlighted just how limited time with our loved ones really is.
A few years ago, as my mom was approaching 70, I realised that I could probably count the number of times we would be together in person on 2 hands.
Even if you live close by – how many more times will you get to be with the people you love?
That’s why I truly appreciate that my mom taught me to always prioritise meaningful relationships.
When we asked our kids – 5 and 7-year-old boys – what they loved most about her, they said, “She always picks up the phone.”
My mom was always there.
Never too busy to speak to me, chat with her grandkids, or plan the next trip to Australia.
She didn’t wait until it was too late.
She made the time every day.
Now, I’m doing the same; identifying and prioritising the relationships that truly matter.
Choosing not to be too busy, and instead actively choosing to be there for them, now.
Lesson 2: Give Selflessly
My mom gave without expecting anything in return.
We didn’t have much growing up.
She was a single mom working in a factory, and somehow she managed to send my sister and I to private school, and then university.
She gave us, her family, and friends her time, energy, money, whatever she had – and never asked or implied that we owed her anything back.
This genuine selflessness created a level of blind trust and loyalty that I’ve never had with anyone else.
If you want to create meaningful relationships or build on your existing ones, follow her lead, and give with genuine generosity.
Lesson 3: Ask for Help
My mom had polio when she was a kid.
While she sometimes struggled physically, she was strong and incredibly capable.
But when she reached her limits, she often found it hard to ask for help.
She wanted to be independent.
Like most of us, she was proud to be self-sufficient.
This made her life harder than it needed to be.
Asking for help would have made things so much easier.
And the thing is, whenever she asked for help, she always got it.
People loved helping her.
If she had asked for it more often, it would have allowed others to benefit from the joy of helping her.
Remember, asking for help is a sign of strength, not weakness, and is fulfilling for everyone involved.
Lesson 4: Smile at People
My mom's habit of smiling at everyone always seemed weird to me.
Now I appreciate its power.
She’d make people feel good everywhere she went.
Even at our kids' swimming lessons, where all the parents have their noses stuck in their phones, she’d end up chatting away with some new friend.
I’ve started smiling at people more over the last few weeks.
It makes me feel better, and it gets others to smile – hopefully making them feel better too.
Want to make an impact?
Start with a smile.
For the action takers:
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Identify 2-3 relationships you need to reinvigorate & prioritise them now.
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Give something away today without expecting anything in return.
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Accept the help from the next person who offers it.
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Smile at 3 people you don't know today.
Thanks so much for reading!
Speak soon,
Steve (and Lynne)
TLDR
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Embrace loss as a chance to reset and build the life or business you desire.
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Learn from others and apply their lessons to your life.
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As Confucius said, "Your second life begins when you realize you only have one." Make the most of it.
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