What Will Your Biggest Career Regret Be? -SWI #16

Read time: 3 mins

Imagine you're in the last days of your life.

You're reflecting on everything you've done in your career.

What made you happiest?

And what are your biggest regrets?

In this issue, we're inviting you to look at your definition of success, and how it might need to change to have the career and life you really want.

Let's get into it:

For many of us, it will be that our definition of success was linked to 'more':

Spending time and energy working for more money, a better job, that big promotion that would mean we've really 'made it'.

These are all worthwhile goals.

But if you focus on 'more' at the detriment of happiness and fulfillment, it can lead to regret down the road.

Bronnie Ware, a palliative care nurse, wrote about this in her book, The Top Five Regrets of the Dying.

It highlights what we'll regret when we make the mistake of defining our success with 'more'. 

The top 5 regrets are:

1. I wish I’d had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.
2. I wish I’d had the courage to express my feelings.
3. I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends.
4. I wish I had let myself be happier.
5. I wish I hadn’t worked so hard.

It's quite a list.

If it doesn't give you a jolt, read it again.

And if you're like us, it may prompt you to consider what you're prioritising as you're chasing 'success'.

Here are 3 key questions to ask yourself to do it:

3 WAYS TO RECONSIDER YOUR DEFINITION OF SUCCESS

1. Am I being true to myself, or doing what others expect?

Many of us have learned our definition of success from our parents, teachers, friends, and culture.

But what do you actually want?

Try asking yourself these questions to start figuring it out:

1. What beliefs about success have I adopted from others?
2. How has this influenced my decisions in my life and career so far?
3. What have the consequences been so far?
4. What will I regret if I continue down this path?
5. What must I change?
   
   

2. Am I prioritising my happiness?

Research shows we don’t experience lasting happiness from getting 'more'.

Experiences that feel good are what actually make us happy.

So, try asking yourself these questions:

1. What do I love doing?
2. What gives me energy?
3. What am I passionate about?
4. How can I do more of these things in my work and life?
   
   

3. Am I too busy for family and friends?

To be healthy, functioning people, we need secure, loving, safe human connection.

Without it, we are literally sicker, sadder, and die sooner.

Changing this is simply about how you choose to prioritise your time.

Here are a few questions to ask yourself:

1. What am I putting before my closest family and friends?
2. Will I regret this later in life?
3. What small change must I make now to prioritise connection with the people I love?
   
   

For the action takers:

• Take action – make one small change to shift your priorities this week. Reflect on whether it's worth continuing at the end of the week.
• If it's time to make a bigger change, get in touch. We can help you build a career based on your true definition of success.
  
  

We would love to hear what you're going to try, and don't forget to reach out if you get stuck.

Thanks for reading!

Speak soon,

Lynne and Steve

TLDR

• People tend to have 5 top regrets when they get to the end of their life and look back.
• Don't settle for regretting the life you led. Don't get trapped in not prioritising what's truly important to you.
• If any of the above resonates with you, take action today. Make a change. If you need help, you know where to find us.
  
  

Looking for extra resources?

We love The Happiness Lab podcast by Yale professor Dr. Laurie Santos for heaps of research-backed insights and inspiring stories on how to live a happier life.